I Shit Myself?!

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1. I’m allergic to maple everything. Anaphylactic. Epi pen. Also, allergic to rabbits & horses.

2. I used to be 215lbs, I battled a serious drug addiction and eventually that and the cancer was the cause of my weight loss. 

3. I’m not religious at all, and religion somewhat makes me annoyed because people let it define them. So, as a young adult I chose Satanism as my religion to scare off people who talked to me about religon. 

4. I used to be a hardcore emo kid, and my first black cat I named Gerard after the lead singer of MCR. 

5. Avenged Sevenfold was one of my favorite bands throughout high school, I made out with a boy for free tickets to one of their concerts, and when they came on stage I peed myself.

6. My first boyfriend broke up with me because a “psychic” told him to. 

7. I have an extreme phobia of dentists because of one dentist who absolutely ruined my mouth. 

8. I’ve always felt a paranormal presence around me but I’ve only ever experienced one paramormal experience. 

9. I cut and color my own hair, and started doing so in 7th grade. Later went to beauty school and now have no desire to do it professionally. 

10. The Silence of the Lambs is my favorite movie, and Can’t Stop by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers is my favorite song of all time. 

11. I’m extremely insecure and struggle with crippling anxiety – even more now since I’ve been off work. I started posting on YouTube to break out of my shell again. 

12. Adventure Time is my favorite cartoon, next to the original Teen Titans. 

13. I shit myself in my grade nine english class, to later find I had pneumonia. 

14. I chose the name Deadgrl Superstar because it’s my favorite Rob Zombie song. 

15. When I was a kid I desperately wanted my name spelled Ashleigh, everyone ended up lauging at me and told me I was “forcing it”. 

16. The first time I ever heard a Tool song I cried because it was the most incredible thing I had ever heard. 

17. I suffer from hypothyroidism and for me it’s mostly fatigue, weakness, joint pain, nausea, weight loss and cold intolerance. 

18. I’m absolutely afraid of the dark because as a child I was convinced the girl from the Exorcist was going to come out of my closet. 

19. When I’m alone, I always sit in front of a mirror. I always like to take a really good look at myself to think about the person that I am, and evaluate myself as a human being. 

20. I sing in the shower as loud as I can because it makes me feel so empowered. A show for myself, by myself. 

If you liked this video please check out my social media, where theres lots more Q & A’s 

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I’m Getting My Cannibis Card!

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This isnt the ideal post I wanted to share this early in the blog but I am so unbelieveably happy, greatful and relieved that this is finally happening.

For anyone who doesn’t know me personally here’s a little back story on why this is so important to me. Eventually I’ll go into more detail about this but I just want to focus on the positives right now.

About 3 years ago I started smoking marijuana with my ex boyfriend, just socially nothing serious. Sometimes a joint here or there with my parents, but I was never in my life dependant.

At the 3 year mark of my relationship, things took a turn for the worst, and we started abusing recreational and prescription drugs. The main one was Fentynal patches. When you abuse opiates like this, you lose your appetite for days at a time. Not only wasn’t I eating (for 3 days to a week sometimes), but one time while I was pretty messed up, my pizza grew a face and started attacking me. Not really though, you know?

After this, I found out that I had thyroid cancer. Now, when you look at the labels on Fentynal patches it tells you that if you have a thyroid problem of any sort not to use them. Not only was I using them, but I was smoking them. How fucking stupid of me?

So after going through 2 surgeries, one round of radiation and a partial eating disorder, my body is pretty messed up.

I still wont eat for 2 or 3 days at a time however it is crucial to eat while taking certain medications. I am nauseated 70% of the day, everyday, and eating around people gives me extreme anxiety.

So, after 2 years of suffering, honest suffering, mentally and physically. Struggling with myself. My brain constantly pulled in different directions. I can put it all to rest. I will no longer be anxious around food.

As of January 9th 2016 I will be a liscenced medical marijuana card holder in the province of Ontario. I am so proud that I am alive, I have made it through 2 of the worst things a person could deal with, back to back. But I persevered. 

Now it’s my turn to be an educator. To teach and listen to people who are struggling. To just give a helping hand to someone who is at their lowest of lows. 

For the first time in my life I am living.

Thank you for reading, if you would like to keep in contact with me more my links are here below;

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image: http://weheartit.com/entry/271244143/search?context_type=search&context_user=the_dancer_on_ur_grave&query=marijuana

Got Caught Stealing by Secret Shopper?!

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Hello everyone and welcome back to the blog! Last night on my Vlogmas vlog I told the story about how Marcel got caught stealing a baby bottle pop from the grocery store. I wanted to retell this story on here, just so I could go into a bit more detail, and so that it makes a little more sense.I’ll link the video below, and eventually I can see myself re-filming this vlog after Vlogmas is over. I hope you guys enjoy!

A little back story… Marcel and I were kind of living together for a bit before this incident, but when this happened it was right after I moved my bed and all of my stuff over. This was also right before my second surgery- and the day after we got Rin. Mid March 2016. Setting the scene for you.

At this time, I was just transitioning between unemployment assistance (EI), and receiving welfare (Ontario Works or OW), so there was a period where we were living off of Marcel’s pay only, (about $700 every two weeks). This is hard to pay for rent, internet, groceries for 3 people, my medication (because that wasn’t covered until I started receiving OW), and all of the miscellaneous stuff for the cats. I started to steal small cans of food and treats for the cats from the dollar store, just to save us 5 or 10 dollars here and there. This went on for a good three months, never got caught nor would I ever act suspicious about it.

*Disclaimer: I don’t condone my behaviour, nor do I do this anymore, we were struggling so bad, and I felt like I was doing what I had to do to keep this animal nourished, while saving a bit of money for ourselves. Both of our cats eat extremely well now… a little too well if I say so myself. Spoiled brats.

Usually I go to the dollar store before the grocery store, so that I can just call a cab and bring the groceries straight home. But for some reason, this day we went to the grocery store first. I just needed to grab some stuff for dinner so I didn’t even grab a cart. In and out. So I thought.

As we’re walking to the counter, Marcel stops me and tells me he has to put something in my backpack. I don’t think anything of it because we just went out to eat, I genuinely thought it was just his leftovers.Turns out it was a Baby Bottle Pop. Are we in the 90’s?!

We pay for everything and as we go to walk out of the door, we get stopped by this short man in a leather coat, who tells us to empty our pockets because he believes we stole merchandise. Marcel comes back with “you aren’t even a security guard, no!” As if this couldn’t be any more awkward, this man tells us he is a secret shopper.

He asks to check my backpack. And at this time I’m thinking it’s in my bag, Marcel’s going to get off scott free! What the hell do they do about a full grown adult stealing baby bottle pop?! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Marcel opens my bag for the man, and in that time grabbed it out of the bag and left it wide open for him to rifle through. He puts the baby bottle pop in his pocket and the man tells us he finds nothing and to just go. Thank you have a nice day…

On our way to the dollar store, I interrogate him and he’s pretty much having an anxiety attack. Sweating, stuttering. It’s hilarious because I know he feels extremely bad. We walk into the dollar store and he doesn’t see me watch him walk over to the candy section, pull the baby bottle pop out of his pocket and place it in with the candy there. AT A DIFFERENT STORE. But hey, at least he put it back right?

I get my things, we pay and leave. I look at him and say “hey you got the candy”? He replies with “no…I.. I.. I..”. To which I respond “yeah, you left it there didn’t you”? And finally, with so much guilt in his voice he yells “no I didn’t just leave it there, I panicked! I put it back!” You panicked and put it back at the wrong store! He said to me that he sees me get away with it and thought he would try. I’ve only ever taken something from the dollar store.

Lesson learned, don’t steal things because you will more than likely get caught by a secret shopper. They’re everywhere, more common than you’d think!

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My First VOXBOX!

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Arriving home Sunday morning I didn’t expect anything new to be at home, it’s the weekend; everything’s closed, “no post on Sunday!”. But on this day, I had recieved my first VoxBox from Influenster!
Now anyone can sign up for Influenster, to recieve absolutely free, complimentary products. If you don’t believe me, I’ll leave a link to show you how big the dang box was.
Friday night, I received an e-mail telling me that I was going to be receiving the Orville Redenbacher VoxBox. What!? This is awesome, who doesn’t love free food! I was expecting a small sample size bag of something, but to my surprise a full size 155g bag of Orville Redenbacher’s Caramel & White Cheddar Popcorn!
This couldn’t be more convient, a free snack in the mail just when we needed it most, right before payday.
After sitting down to record a video about this product, and taking a couple of snaps, I tear open the bag and to my excitement taste the thing that I had been craving. Sweet and savoury. Wow, is this stuff ever satisfying. After hoarding it to myself for a good ten minutes, the boys discover that I have snacks. Ten minutes later it’s all gone. Good thing I snuck an extra handful while no one was looking..
This popcorn reminds me of when I went through radiation. I was on a special diet and all that I craved was Chicago Mix popcorn but I couldn’t have it. This is definitely a close second to that.
Like I said before, Influenster is 100% free to sign up for, and all products received are complimentary. You can sign up for this at http://www.influenster.com.
I will leave a link to my video where I unbox my VoxBox, you can check that out as well as many other lifestyle videos at http://www.youtube.com/heymrkhm.
I hope you enjoyed reading this and got some helpful tips, if you like free things as I do.

Thank you for reading!
deadgrl superstar
ALL OF THE LINKS:

Unboxing Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxzaHqzgRYc
My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deadgrl_superstar
Support Me Here: https:www.patreon.com/deadgrlsuperstar